The ultimate case for what NOT to do when networking

When I wrote this blog, I was still a bit upset by what happened.  It is not my usual happy, positive tone, but I am posting it anyway.  I think it is important to make this point.  

I hope you enjoy it!                                

Recently I was at a networking event that I hosted called Walk and Talk.  We had some familiar faces and a couple of new people I had never met before attend.  I was very excited to make new contacts and see if these were people I wanted to continue a business relationship with from here. 

As we were getting ready to start our networking and walking I wanted to make sure to lay down some ground rules.  I said " Now, I just want to establish some ground rules.  We are not here to sell to each other, we are here to develop relation..." when one of the new attendees  interrupts me and says "I am going to pass out my son's business cards.  He is a handyman.  He is really good. You should hire him."  

After he was done trying to sell his son's services to us, I finished up the ground rules and said "Okay, let's pair up for our first lap..." (we were walking in a mall) when he interrupts again and says pointing at me "I want to walk with you."  I finished pairing people up explained that we had half a lap to talk about our business and then we needed to switch and let the other person talk.   

As we start our netwalking, my first question to my new found friend (enter sarcastic tone here) is.."So, you said you do marketing. What kind of marketing?"  "All kinds.  I want to be paid to do what I am doing for my son."  I did what I would do for anyone, which was ask more clarifying questions and even gave him some ideas on how maybe he could do that to make money.  When we were almost done with our lap he finally says "I want to know about what you do."     I start to explain some of the things I do for my clients when interrupts for third time and excitedly says "That's what I want to do!"  He then proceeds to tell me why he would be good at what I do. 

He talks about how wonderful he is until we stop where we were to switch and talk to someone else for a lap.  As others are finishing their conversations, he is still talking about himself and then he finally says "So, I will go out and get some customers, then, I will call you (as he mimics a phone with his hand to his ear) and you can tell me what to do."  YES HE JUST WENT THERE     I kindly yet firmly said "I actually get paid for that." To which he replies as he playfully pushes my shoulder....."Not if we are friends...right?!"  Seriously...I couldn't make this stuff up.

To make a long story short, my conversations with him did not get any better as the hour went on. 

My interaction with this man was wrong on so many levels that it is almost difficult to conceive that one person could be that rude, arrogant or clueless. I am not an expert, but I did not get the feeling that he was disabled or had any other mental or social disorder.  He was just all about HIM.

The moral of my story?  Experts in their field are experts because they have taken the time, money and hands on experience to get there.  If you want to take them to coffee and pick their brain you should expect to pay for their time.  Or, at the very least, offer to help them in some way in return.  Can you refer them to someone who might be a potential client or referral source? Unfortunately I am probably guilty of not doing enough to repay those who have helped me.

Lasting and beneficial business relationships are established by creating trust.  In most cases trust takes time, nurturing and proof we are worthy of it.  So, next time you get really excited to tell someone what you are thinking....take a breath and let them finish their sentence. 

In other words heed the saying:
          "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."

                               Epictetus

Before you walk into an event or even coffee with a colleague try checking your motives before you go in. 

What do you want these people to learn about you and more importantly, how can you help them?  This is help to make the experience better for both of you.  Happy Networking!