When my mom picked up the phone, it was instead my fathers cardiologist who in a very matter of fact way told us that my dad had just died of a massive heart attack.
This is the same doctor that while I was visiting my father that morning told me he was not concerned about the minor heart attack my father had had earlier in the week. He said in fact "The damage was minor, I am not at all concerned. You can take him home today".
So, when the doctor called with the news of my fathers death, to say that my mother and I were shocked would be an understatement. I would even say it was the most shocking and possibly the worst day of my life.
A year later what have I learned?
I learned that losing a parent was much harder than I ever imagined it could be.
That my children are much more resilient then I gave them credit for.
That my daughter was generous and mature far beyond her almost 16 years.
I learned that it is okay to cry because I miss my dad. It does not make me weak.
That God created me to be able to handle things I never thought possible.
That people in my life, present and past will step up to help without even being asked.
I learned that even amiss this tragedy good things could happen and lessons could be learned.
So today Dec 27th 2012 I want to say, I still miss you dad. I miss your phone calls with unsolicited advice, the envelopes stuffed full of articles you thought I should read and I especially miss your quirky (some might say weird)arts and crafts projects.
But I am going to be okay. I have also learned that time really does heal all wounds. At least it makes them more bearable.
The one thing I am most sure of, is that my learning is never done. I promise to continue to read the books you left behind, continue to work on my self both personally and professionally and always look for the lesson in every situation.
